kissing in public, an issue that divided the metro compartment

It was a usual day in morning metro’s over-crowded run. Everybody was rushing towards their offices, colleges or shops. Delhi was just waking up and so was I. Though I was up for last 1 hour but still I was in mode where I cut off myself from outer world and feel numb or listen to anything that is on pretentious FM radio channels. It can be said that I was half asleep. So I really don’t know how it started. 

But as we all have experienced, when in a crowd everybody start to look in a particular direction, our instincts dictate us to do the same. May be an old left over habit from pre-human phase of genetic development. Anyways, there they were, one very hot girl and one not so good looking boy. I pulled out my ear plugs. Apparently they were kissing each other, to be semantically correct, smooching each other and a policeman in uniform objected to this. On that objection, of-course the boy gave that policewalah uncle a dose of “How this was none of his business” and “how policemen are disgrace to society” speech. Enraged policeman started to yell and soon, to my surprise almost all office going, middle aged crowd joined him in this mission. All the uncles and aunties were too furious over apparent obscenity of that young couple.

Soon in between that shouting somebody said “kya gandi ladki hai” and one of the friend of that girl understood it as “kya randi ladki hai”. That was the moment the match started to turn. Almost 10-12 college going students and some young office-goers started to argue in couple’s favor. And believe it or not it soon turned into a well mannered debate, a rare occasion I guess.

I was intently listening to both sides and there were merit to both sides. Sometimes I wanted to comment something but it was far more entertaining to be an outside observer. The main argument from older chaps was that although constitution provides us freedom to do whatever we want, but it must not cross the limit of public decency and morality. There were multiple reference to our beloved Poonam Pandey, mention of our culture, snares over how young generation is destroying it and many many such things which I am sure all of us have heard in one way or another. Younger crowd on other hand passionately quoted Delhi high court’s judgement in favor of kissing at public place. They were too keen to point that it was not indecent as all of us watch kissing/hugging etc everyday on TV and there was no impressionable person here.

Suddenly It hit me that those two groups did not represent the same moral code and definition of public decency. (I went in my cut-off mode again) It is not a matter of right or wrong, it is the matter of difference of value system. In a modern democratic system we allow freedom to follow one’s own value system but when issue is of public morality then it is complicated. By logical argument we can say that whatever majority wants is the public morality in a democracy. Plato, Comte, Herbert Spencer, Durkheim and Gandhi did a round of my mind.

In India value system is changing but till date majority still supports older Indian definition of morality. I, myself, having done the same act in public, clearly favor new system of morality, but I also fear that we are not making a new system of morality for our own society, we are just copying it from west. System is not evolving but it is an imposed system, which is never good for society. Society and intellectuals of society must devise and develop a new morality that is both modern and Indian at core. Our generation is lucky to live in such hot and happening times but it also adds more responsibility on us to develop a new value system for new age.

Thinking this, I realized that metro has already reached Hauz Khas, my destination. I pushed my ear plugs back and de-boarded as if nothing had happened, and really nothing happened. just another incident in life of India, which is divided on almost all major issues, struggling to cope up with changing times.

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21 thoughts on “kissing in public, an issue that divided the metro compartment

  1. Very nice post Chakresh…I totally agree to your idea of changing pattern of morality but it should be adapted or evolved rather than just copied blindly from somewhere..Nice read.

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    1. Action of a man depicts its moral and value backgrounds .In india there have been variety of value systems that evolved in different time periods may be regional ,religional , linguistic etc
      In the present scenario india has different lifestyles some are completely modern like in metro cities
      Some are still backward and majority in transforming stage.In my opinion being modern and adopting western culture are different things .
      But as far as personal liberty is concerned it should be practiced in such a manner that it doesn’t affect others either physically, mentally or morally.
      The couple who was talking about their liberty should be concerned about values of surrounding majority.

      Nice post bhaiya

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  2. The most important thing to understand for us is that nobody is wrong while following their own morality, its just the different value system. And we are so lucky to have so many different systems to pick and build a new one. 🙂

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  3. As debatable as it can get…More than morality which is a function of perceptions, cultural legends and environment, its an question of the ‘absolute’ conscience…This public display of love is questionable only if either partners’ conscience is capricious about it… Let lawyers and politicos decide about the legality and likewise rhetorics…Let us just ask our conscience before taking the plunge!!!

    Brilliant narrative Chakresh !!!!
    P.S.

    If this Struggle of our nation engenders those rocking cerebrations…we are doing good, as this age of telecom revolution has depleted the Com(communications) part severely…We would evolve out of this as stable as the Indian Peninsula(with our due share of Laturs…)….

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  4. umn…
    on this topic I am always at loggerheads with many
    Public Display of Affection — I am for it.
    As far as smooching in Public places is concerned,just we need to see that children arent around

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  5. i am agree with you to change the morality system…..
    but is it the end of debate?
    what should be those systems…….
    how can we implement those systems??
    these questions are still unanswerable…
    Rather we should go in deep…..

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  6. It is difficult to comment what is morally right or wrong. Who is going to decide the same? The actions should be based on what will be the impact of this act on them and others. I don’t think kissing in public is a crime if the one thinks that he is doing the right thing. Morality will come in picture if someone is just using the other person for sake of lust. Otherwise what is wrong with any expression of love?

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  7. this is the best among the articles u have written.. by standards of flow, the portrayal of inevitable duality.. good one chakresh

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  8. More than morality I think it was about what the rest of the people were used to.
    If it was morality then we would see similar outrage when we see women being molested in crowded buses and trains. If it was civic sense, we might see similar objections to cigarette smoking or men peeing by roadsides.

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  9. “I, myself, having done the same act in public”

    Ka bhaiya aapo ee sab kihe haieen? Now I’ve lost my respect for you and going to unsubscribe, I really liked your blog though. Reasons-
    It’s bad if you kissed the girl against her wishes
    Double bad if her wish was also involved in that act because all the ‘launde lafadiya’ want nothing but to get in their pants and they should understand it [though they have no choice in it as they are driven by their passion (Rajo Gun) and nature has made them that way]
    Too bad if the wishes of both of you was involved and you people aren’t going to marry because then you might not have corrupted her physically per say but still it’s her moral corruption.

    P.S. You have stressed on finding ways for our own moral system while you yourself used the world ‘hot’ for the girl. Isn’t these words like ‘hot’, ‘sexy’ or even our own term ‘maal’ etc. are something that we have imported from the consumerist society. I find them to be very derogatory.

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    1. There is no question of kissing anyone against his/her wishes. But as I said, we all make our own morals and until unless a consensus is reached, you are as much right as I am.

      Rest is your choice, you will always be welcomed here. 🙂

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      1. It’s my fault all the way because I tend o look at the things through my own moral prism and then find it difficult to identify with the people not similar to me. And of course with such an ‘orthodox’ (so called) it’s very difficult. I’ve been advised in the past to accept the differences which I do but then there seems to be a distance involved. 😀

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  10. A kiss is just a kiss…………..but if only the couple do it as an expression of the priceless emotion that erupts in their hearts, it is the penultimate stage of love.In case it is just a carnal desire or an urge to copy ‘Hrithik – Barbara’ it loses its meaning.Only on a solid premise can the debate be concluded.

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  11. In some cases I am strictly against Public Display of Affection. As we are living in the transition period, most of the parents are not comfortable with the fact that there kids see/watch/experience such PDA while going out. Therefore in turn they impose restrictions on kids which is really detrimental.

    I have seen many playgrounds turning into so called lovers spots. Now not a single parent want their child to play there. In the end the biggest losers are children.

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  12. Insightful Analysis Chakresh. You have aptly recognized the value-dichotomy between our two generations. I agree that there are no right or wrong values. All are measured on a relative scale in our society. And one thing I would like to add here is the pervasive hypocrisy in the younger generation who – on one hand follow the new value system and on the other hand feel inclined to oppose the same when sitting on the fence. I think, may be this is because of the inherent confusion in the young minds over where exactly the black is different from white. We are presently living in grey times and that is what confuses me and my behavior many a times..this muddling of values in my mind.

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